


night settles in your bones

by saphinias



Category: Bandom, Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphinias/pseuds/saphinias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are times that Alan thinks he can feel his very atoms vibrating and threatening to spill of out him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	night settles in your bones

Sometimes Alan just can't come down after a show.  And with no crowd or bandmates there to keep him ensconced in reality his heart races and the adrenaline won't stop pumping through his veins.  He's too high on the feeling he gets from performing, the rush.

There are times that Alan thinks he can feel his very atoms vibrating and threatening to spill of out him.  Which is kind of scary but so so exciting and he wouldn't mind all that much if it happened.

Riding the high is mostly good. He'll be able to walk out of a venue and smell the fresh air (it's best in winter when it's clear and crisp) and feel a nice thrum of connectedness to the world at large.  He feels  _good,_ and he just wants to float in that headspace forever.   _  
_

But sometimes, and Alan doesn't know why, something shifts and the collective consciousness of the world presses in on him and it hurts and crushes his bones and drives into his brain and forces to _feel_ everything as well as sense it.  It makes him shake and cry and clutch and scratch at the soft piece of flesh between his thumb and forefinger, but it still feels good because of the  _muchness_ , the intensity.

Austin found him like that once.  Sneaking into his bunk because he was bored or couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, Alan never asked why afterwards.

"Alan?" he'd whispered, to see if the boy was awake.  And Alan couldn't say aything but his hands grappled to pull him closer because he was feeling  _everything_ and Austin was Alan's biggest everything.

Austin must have noticed something in his actions because he looked at Alan's face and saw how Alan was  _feeling_.

"Hey, Alan, hey, you with me?" Austin whispered, grasping his shoulder and squeezing his side.  Alan just tried to smother himself in Austin, attempting to cover his own body with him.  "Do you want me to, like, keep you down?  Or, I dunno -"

Alan has his hands on his back and his fingers are running along his rib cage and Alan is breathing right over his scar and suddenly Austin knows.

"- grounded.  Right?" Alan just stays and the night settles around them.  "I can do that."

And so Austin stayed and  _felt_ with Alan and later Alan thanked him.

 _It was good to float because I knew you wouldn't let me go_.


End file.
